Truth
Truth is a funny thing, 'they' say truth will set you free. What they don't say is how that revealing the truth will also break your own heart in many ways, that were just not seen as possible.
Wow, I really don't know where to begin with all of this. I guess I'll start off by explaining what exactly a "Subigan" is. It's a mixture of a Subaru & Michigan fan. I personally love subaru's they're the only kind of car that can and will handle my kind of vigorous traveling. I have a 96 Subaru Legacy and in less than 6 months I've put on over 40k miles. And it's still running, it now needs some work but it still runs. As far as Michigan I'm a Wolverine's fan, although I rarely catch any games and if I do it's only when they play against Penn State. The whole Love of Michigan is kind of a memorobilia for me, it all started about 6 or 7 years ago when Myself, My Aunt, and my grandfather were a baby shower for my cousin and the Penn State Vs. Michigan game was on tv, My grandfather wanted to spice some things up a bit and offered a bet, so my Aunt said Penn State would win, and he did as well so I could only choose Michigan because you won't get far with a bet when everyone chooses the same team, now will you? Turns out in the end Michigan won, everyone watching the game was upset, I wasn't I had just scored $20. But since then it's just been all about that one game and now I'm a fan. Which everyone around me can see if you see my car, covered in Michigan Flags and magnets.
One bad thing with my Subaru though, it got me into trouble. But I guess it was really me that got myself into trouble.
Here we go:
March 17th, 2007 I was leaving a friends house where I had been staying and heading over to the Giant in town to visit someone, at this point my Subaru had no working headlights just one fog light, usually the foglight will work for me at night but this time it didn't as I was face to face with a cop car at a stop sign. I tried to avoid him by going down a different road but it didn't work in seconds he had his lights on, I pulled over and he pulled behind me. Strangley so did 2 other cop cars. The officer approaches my window asks why my headlights weren't on, I tried telling him that my fuses were blown (Which technically they were) but it didn't get me real far. He then asked for the usual, License, Registration and Insurance. Unfortuntaly I could only produce two of the items. I had insurance on the vehicle, it just Expired March 17th 2007 at 12am. Kind of a coincidence? Upon the officer learning I had no Current Insurance he asked me to step out of my vehicle. That's when a second officer asked my why I grabbed my side pocket. I didn't grab my side pocket and I told him that. But that only pushed him to search my pocket where he found a pill container which was holding some OTC's and Presciption medications. At this point the first officer told me to hold my hands above my head and rest my body against my car. When the officer that took the pill container learned there were prescibed meds in the container is when they told me to place my hands behind my back and told me I was being arrested for Possesion of a Controled substance. And into the back of a police car I went, crying the entire half of a mile to the Police Station.
Inside the station things didn't go anymore smoother than near my car. The two officers that were with me when they arrested me weren't exactly the nicest in the bunch. The Sgt was trying to make small talk with me about Skating and the pants I was wearing. After that I was taken into the office of the first Officer that approached me, he had said that they found about 210 in cash on me and my car, and two bottles of prescibed medicine. They immediately thought I was a drug dealer and it was difficult to convince them otherwise. They had also told me that my car was towed and to get it back I would need insurance. He also told me if I told him the names of all the Medications in my container and gave a thorough statement I could walk out the doors of the Station and go back to my friends house, which I did just that. He told me I was to call him the following day at 8pm to see what was going on with my car and the possibility of getting my money back. Out the door I went.
I walked back up to my friends house wondering in my mind how this could have possibly happened to me, how could I have been so stupid to get myself this far? I was staying at my friends house only because of the fact that since November of 2006 I was homeless, mostly staying in my car in a 24 hour walmart parking lot, until Feb of 07 when my Friends asked me to stay in their home till I got on my feet.
The following day (Sunday) when everyone woke up I was coming out of the bathroom and my friends mom, Darlene, had said thru the door "don't be taking off anywhere" and I replied back "I don't have a car to go anywhere" to which she replied with a What and I had to tell her what happened that evening. However, I lied when she asked me if I told the police her Son was involved in any of it. I had said no for the sake of having a place to stay, when infact I had told the police. But I figured I was safe because the Officer told me that as long as I didn't say anything to them about it, he wasn't going to either.
But that all proved wrong on Monday.
On Monday after the help of my Grandmother I went first to the Auto Insurance place in town and got my car some car insurance after doing that I raced to the station to show the officer my insurance card hoping he would allow the impound lot to release my car. When I got there I knew what I saw was the end of a part of my life. When I walked in, I saw my friend and her son sitting in the officer's office. He came out when the officer who had let me in the station got his attention, he saw my insurance card and said he would phone the impound lot to release the car but that it would cost $150. He then told me to come in the office, where it was very difficult facing my friend and her son, especially after saying I hadn't involved her son at all. The officer told me that her son was dying everything (and of course) and then my friend went on to say that I was only saying that he was involved to try and save my car, but it wasn't because my car was taken for a totally different reason. And then she said she had no idea about any of this and yet she lied, she knew very much. I think the only thing that saved me at that point was when the SGT had asked her son why they would believe someone who has been introuble with the law (her son) over someone who they never had one problem with (me). After a few minutes of all of that, my friend got upset and walked out with her son. After that I was asked to sit down where the SGT and the officer both attacked me asking me what was truth and why was he denying being involved. I told them the truth I told them How I had cash on me, i told them about the meds on me, and I told them everything I could that was the absolute truth. The Sgt tried treatening me by saying that maybe 2 nights in jail will make me tell them the truth. But finally I was given a break when the Officer made phone calls to people who could verify the truth for me. After he got off the phone and allowed me to speak to one of them he came back in his office and told me that he now believes me but he needed a new statement from me, including all the truth. In the statement I had to explain the meds I had on me, the over the counter meds and the prescription meds. I had things from Tylenol, Claritin, Viatmin B, Unisom as far as OTC, as for prescribed I had Seroquel, Celexa, and Lexapro on me. I had to also explain where I got the prescription meds from because they weren't mine. I had to explain how my friend's son and I had stolen them from a Friend of his. To this day I still don't know why I went with it and did it. All I know is the seroquel helped me sleep and being asleep instead of awake/alive is what I liked. At that time I didn't care if I lived or died, so I took the seroquel to keep me knocked out, and at times too seriously high doses to see if maybe I wouldn't wake up. Sadly, Upon admitting that I was also now being charged with Theft, a felony. After I wrote my statement, the Officer told me that he would let me walk through the doors tonight but that in 2-3 months I would have to appear before court and If I didn't show up there would be a warrant out for me. After that he asked if I had the police's permission to search my vehicle, I said yes because I figured complying with them might get me further. I signed my rights to let them search it and they did, and found completely nothing. So they let me go. But I had to leave the car at the station till morning due to no headlights. The next morning I had a parking ticket on my car, go figure.
Reliving that night scares me still.
I regret stealing his meds, I regret not putting car insurance first as well. I regret everything that happened and everything I did. I'm sorry for it also. Not because I got caught but because I've disappointed my family, I took something away from someone who needed it. If I could I would pay for his medication for 18 months, just to pay back for the 2 months worth we stole from him. In the same breath though, I think me getting arrested was a blessing. It has taught me a whole lot.
The biggest lesson was learning about my friend's Son. I used to call him my brother, but now he has no place anywhere in my family. Matt and I met about 6 1/2 years ago, we were neighbors, and my family hated him basically. They all told me to stay away and such. But I refused to listen, I made excuses for why he was the way he was. We hung out all the time and up until the incident we'd go just about everywhere, from Philadelphia to different malls just to kill time and had fun. I will admit we had some memorable laughs and fun. We were the best of friends and we considered each other family. But he just wasn't any of that, he didn't care about me the way I cared for him. I was just someone who bought him things and took him places, I thought he was a brother. So when trouble came at me, he was more mad that I brought his name up and didn't care about how much trouble I was in, he just cared about his own well being. A couple days after the whole incident my best friend told me that Matt will come around someday. I don't want him to anymore. Everyone in my family is happy I'm away from him, and I've been influenced to nothing but trouble since knowing and living there. I feel bad for the kid in the household, Matt's mom cares more about where she's getting her next baggie of marijuana over anything else and when she doesn't have it she will get ugly. I'm not someone into the narcotics scene, don't care to be, I know doing seroquel was wrong but I would never go any further. Matt's mom doesn't work, and they struggle for food and to pay bills, Matt has wanted to get a job for sometime but his mom doesn't want him to because he will loose his disability checks. To top things off with me Matt stole a Tv, PS2, and a box full of DVD's off of the stuff they had stored in their basement and cops let me pick up what was left. I knew they were going to steal it. Thing is I don't care. they want it to bother me and it doesn't.
It doesn't bother me because I'm away from the town they live in, I'm away from them completely. So I lost a Tv and ps2. Most the Dvd's in the box were scratched anyways and the ps2 was running slowly from a cat hair build up. As far as a Tv its cool, I got one now anyways. I got cable too and High Speed Internet so my time is occupied and I don't miss those things. Him stealing those things just proved his character to me even more so.
My plan right now is to change my life around, drastically. And show the cops and my family and whoever else that the life they saw me in will never happen again.
You see in November I got kicked out of my apartment due to non-payment of rent, I owed my landlord $800 plus the upcoming rent I just couldn't catch up. I had no where to go also, and not enough to fork up a place to live. So I packed everything I had in my mom's storage and what was important in my car and for months I lived in my car. It was hell, pure hell. In feb, I opted to stay at Matt's place and that's where I stayed until my Arrest. After that I lived in my car once again for 2 weeks till I got serious about finding a place, and a place I did. It's nothing big but I like it and I love the town it's completely opposite from Pottsville, cleaner, quiter, and it's not a big drug area nor crime.
I guess it's like someone, or something lit a fire under my ass. I now have my own apartment after 5 months being homeless, I have work, I'm also registering to go back to school starting in the summer. I'm working on getting my car fixed and setting up my finances better and also giving my family back all the help they helped me with. I'm going to try and get myself more active in the church which is a little scary for me but I think it's what I need. Oh, I also got my cat back and it feels good.
None of this is easy and I'm scared of the outcome when court comes but I just gotta keep changing my life and hoping for the best. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I just want to focus more on my family, more on helping people who really want it, and staying far away from trouble. And focus more time on my best friend, not false friends.
Wow, I really don't know where to begin with all of this. I guess I'll start off by explaining what exactly a "Subigan" is. It's a mixture of a Subaru & Michigan fan. I personally love subaru's they're the only kind of car that can and will handle my kind of vigorous traveling. I have a 96 Subaru Legacy and in less than 6 months I've put on over 40k miles. And it's still running, it now needs some work but it still runs. As far as Michigan I'm a Wolverine's fan, although I rarely catch any games and if I do it's only when they play against Penn State. The whole Love of Michigan is kind of a memorobilia for me, it all started about 6 or 7 years ago when Myself, My Aunt, and my grandfather were a baby shower for my cousin and the Penn State Vs. Michigan game was on tv, My grandfather wanted to spice some things up a bit and offered a bet, so my Aunt said Penn State would win, and he did as well so I could only choose Michigan because you won't get far with a bet when everyone chooses the same team, now will you? Turns out in the end Michigan won, everyone watching the game was upset, I wasn't I had just scored $20. But since then it's just been all about that one game and now I'm a fan. Which everyone around me can see if you see my car, covered in Michigan Flags and magnets.
One bad thing with my Subaru though, it got me into trouble. But I guess it was really me that got myself into trouble.
Here we go:
March 17th, 2007 I was leaving a friends house where I had been staying and heading over to the Giant in town to visit someone, at this point my Subaru had no working headlights just one fog light, usually the foglight will work for me at night but this time it didn't as I was face to face with a cop car at a stop sign. I tried to avoid him by going down a different road but it didn't work in seconds he had his lights on, I pulled over and he pulled behind me. Strangley so did 2 other cop cars. The officer approaches my window asks why my headlights weren't on, I tried telling him that my fuses were blown (Which technically they were) but it didn't get me real far. He then asked for the usual, License, Registration and Insurance. Unfortuntaly I could only produce two of the items. I had insurance on the vehicle, it just Expired March 17th 2007 at 12am. Kind of a coincidence? Upon the officer learning I had no Current Insurance he asked me to step out of my vehicle. That's when a second officer asked my why I grabbed my side pocket. I didn't grab my side pocket and I told him that. But that only pushed him to search my pocket where he found a pill container which was holding some OTC's and Presciption medications. At this point the first officer told me to hold my hands above my head and rest my body against my car. When the officer that took the pill container learned there were prescibed meds in the container is when they told me to place my hands behind my back and told me I was being arrested for Possesion of a Controled substance. And into the back of a police car I went, crying the entire half of a mile to the Police Station.
Inside the station things didn't go anymore smoother than near my car. The two officers that were with me when they arrested me weren't exactly the nicest in the bunch. The Sgt was trying to make small talk with me about Skating and the pants I was wearing. After that I was taken into the office of the first Officer that approached me, he had said that they found about 210 in cash on me and my car, and two bottles of prescibed medicine. They immediately thought I was a drug dealer and it was difficult to convince them otherwise. They had also told me that my car was towed and to get it back I would need insurance. He also told me if I told him the names of all the Medications in my container and gave a thorough statement I could walk out the doors of the Station and go back to my friends house, which I did just that. He told me I was to call him the following day at 8pm to see what was going on with my car and the possibility of getting my money back. Out the door I went.
I walked back up to my friends house wondering in my mind how this could have possibly happened to me, how could I have been so stupid to get myself this far? I was staying at my friends house only because of the fact that since November of 2006 I was homeless, mostly staying in my car in a 24 hour walmart parking lot, until Feb of 07 when my Friends asked me to stay in their home till I got on my feet.
The following day (Sunday) when everyone woke up I was coming out of the bathroom and my friends mom, Darlene, had said thru the door "don't be taking off anywhere" and I replied back "I don't have a car to go anywhere" to which she replied with a What and I had to tell her what happened that evening. However, I lied when she asked me if I told the police her Son was involved in any of it. I had said no for the sake of having a place to stay, when infact I had told the police. But I figured I was safe because the Officer told me that as long as I didn't say anything to them about it, he wasn't going to either.
But that all proved wrong on Monday.
On Monday after the help of my Grandmother I went first to the Auto Insurance place in town and got my car some car insurance after doing that I raced to the station to show the officer my insurance card hoping he would allow the impound lot to release my car. When I got there I knew what I saw was the end of a part of my life. When I walked in, I saw my friend and her son sitting in the officer's office. He came out when the officer who had let me in the station got his attention, he saw my insurance card and said he would phone the impound lot to release the car but that it would cost $150. He then told me to come in the office, where it was very difficult facing my friend and her son, especially after saying I hadn't involved her son at all. The officer told me that her son was dying everything (and of course) and then my friend went on to say that I was only saying that he was involved to try and save my car, but it wasn't because my car was taken for a totally different reason. And then she said she had no idea about any of this and yet she lied, she knew very much. I think the only thing that saved me at that point was when the SGT had asked her son why they would believe someone who has been introuble with the law (her son) over someone who they never had one problem with (me). After a few minutes of all of that, my friend got upset and walked out with her son. After that I was asked to sit down where the SGT and the officer both attacked me asking me what was truth and why was he denying being involved. I told them the truth I told them How I had cash on me, i told them about the meds on me, and I told them everything I could that was the absolute truth. The Sgt tried treatening me by saying that maybe 2 nights in jail will make me tell them the truth. But finally I was given a break when the Officer made phone calls to people who could verify the truth for me. After he got off the phone and allowed me to speak to one of them he came back in his office and told me that he now believes me but he needed a new statement from me, including all the truth. In the statement I had to explain the meds I had on me, the over the counter meds and the prescription meds. I had things from Tylenol, Claritin, Viatmin B, Unisom as far as OTC, as for prescribed I had Seroquel, Celexa, and Lexapro on me. I had to also explain where I got the prescription meds from because they weren't mine. I had to explain how my friend's son and I had stolen them from a Friend of his. To this day I still don't know why I went with it and did it. All I know is the seroquel helped me sleep and being asleep instead of awake/alive is what I liked. At that time I didn't care if I lived or died, so I took the seroquel to keep me knocked out, and at times too seriously high doses to see if maybe I wouldn't wake up. Sadly, Upon admitting that I was also now being charged with Theft, a felony. After I wrote my statement, the Officer told me that he would let me walk through the doors tonight but that in 2-3 months I would have to appear before court and If I didn't show up there would be a warrant out for me. After that he asked if I had the police's permission to search my vehicle, I said yes because I figured complying with them might get me further. I signed my rights to let them search it and they did, and found completely nothing. So they let me go. But I had to leave the car at the station till morning due to no headlights. The next morning I had a parking ticket on my car, go figure.
Reliving that night scares me still.
I regret stealing his meds, I regret not putting car insurance first as well. I regret everything that happened and everything I did. I'm sorry for it also. Not because I got caught but because I've disappointed my family, I took something away from someone who needed it. If I could I would pay for his medication for 18 months, just to pay back for the 2 months worth we stole from him. In the same breath though, I think me getting arrested was a blessing. It has taught me a whole lot.
The biggest lesson was learning about my friend's Son. I used to call him my brother, but now he has no place anywhere in my family. Matt and I met about 6 1/2 years ago, we were neighbors, and my family hated him basically. They all told me to stay away and such. But I refused to listen, I made excuses for why he was the way he was. We hung out all the time and up until the incident we'd go just about everywhere, from Philadelphia to different malls just to kill time and had fun. I will admit we had some memorable laughs and fun. We were the best of friends and we considered each other family. But he just wasn't any of that, he didn't care about me the way I cared for him. I was just someone who bought him things and took him places, I thought he was a brother. So when trouble came at me, he was more mad that I brought his name up and didn't care about how much trouble I was in, he just cared about his own well being. A couple days after the whole incident my best friend told me that Matt will come around someday. I don't want him to anymore. Everyone in my family is happy I'm away from him, and I've been influenced to nothing but trouble since knowing and living there. I feel bad for the kid in the household, Matt's mom cares more about where she's getting her next baggie of marijuana over anything else and when she doesn't have it she will get ugly. I'm not someone into the narcotics scene, don't care to be, I know doing seroquel was wrong but I would never go any further. Matt's mom doesn't work, and they struggle for food and to pay bills, Matt has wanted to get a job for sometime but his mom doesn't want him to because he will loose his disability checks. To top things off with me Matt stole a Tv, PS2, and a box full of DVD's off of the stuff they had stored in their basement and cops let me pick up what was left. I knew they were going to steal it. Thing is I don't care. they want it to bother me and it doesn't.
It doesn't bother me because I'm away from the town they live in, I'm away from them completely. So I lost a Tv and ps2. Most the Dvd's in the box were scratched anyways and the ps2 was running slowly from a cat hair build up. As far as a Tv its cool, I got one now anyways. I got cable too and High Speed Internet so my time is occupied and I don't miss those things. Him stealing those things just proved his character to me even more so.
My plan right now is to change my life around, drastically. And show the cops and my family and whoever else that the life they saw me in will never happen again.
You see in November I got kicked out of my apartment due to non-payment of rent, I owed my landlord $800 plus the upcoming rent I just couldn't catch up. I had no where to go also, and not enough to fork up a place to live. So I packed everything I had in my mom's storage and what was important in my car and for months I lived in my car. It was hell, pure hell. In feb, I opted to stay at Matt's place and that's where I stayed until my Arrest. After that I lived in my car once again for 2 weeks till I got serious about finding a place, and a place I did. It's nothing big but I like it and I love the town it's completely opposite from Pottsville, cleaner, quiter, and it's not a big drug area nor crime.
I guess it's like someone, or something lit a fire under my ass. I now have my own apartment after 5 months being homeless, I have work, I'm also registering to go back to school starting in the summer. I'm working on getting my car fixed and setting up my finances better and also giving my family back all the help they helped me with. I'm going to try and get myself more active in the church which is a little scary for me but I think it's what I need. Oh, I also got my cat back and it feels good.
None of this is easy and I'm scared of the outcome when court comes but I just gotta keep changing my life and hoping for the best. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I just want to focus more on my family, more on helping people who really want it, and staying far away from trouble. And focus more time on my best friend, not false friends.
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